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Bionicle MOC: Kutumah by 3rdeye88

:iconmagith1:
*cough* Son, I am disappoint.

OK, so let's get the good things out of the way as fast as possible, because there's a lot of bad to cover.

The concept is interesting, the face is genius, the use of the masks is well done, and it has some good engineering in the upper legs. Now, let's get the bad in here.

The arms are skinny, bare, ugly, and badly engineered. Not the kind of arms you'd see on a god of war. The shoulders are unarmored, which is definitely not what you think of when you think god of war.

The club is supposed to be made from shark teeth.....What? There's no shark teeth whatsoever on that club. It's black and red. Shark teeth are white, and red when covered in blood. The club looks more like a molten rock.

The lower legs really need something. They're so skinny, and have no armor on them. They really could use some kind of ankle armor.

The hands, OH THE HANDS. They're so skinny. He's this big god of war, with all this power, and strength, yet his hands look as if they belong on a smaller MOC. Finally, the back.

A good question would be, "why is he so fat?" A member of a tribe like this should be rather muscular, and somewhat devoid of food in the body, yet this guy has big chunky hips, and a big belly. He looks like he an entire bag of chips once a day.

The back is just so.....Bare. He has all this armor on the front, all these masks on his belly, yet NOTHING on his back besides some lazy Hero Factory armor. There's barely anything back there.

So yes, the MOC's vision is pretty good, and well researched, but the execution has many flaws, and needs work. There are some good ideas in here, but they really get overwhelmed by the bad.
The Artist thought this was FAIR
6 out of 6 deviants thought this was fair.

Comments


:icon3rdeye88:
3rdeye88 Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
This is a fair critique but you misunderstand and take things too literally. Like the club. Its not actually meant to be a sharktoothed club. it does actually have a molten rock look, which coincidentally enough, The Hawaiian Islands are made of. That's kinda a failure on your part. There's active volcanoes in Hawaii, so if anything that's an accidental stroke of brilliance on my part. Secondly to that, the research showed that that's what a common style of weapon was, not exactly what I was trying to achieve.

Next on the list, you're misinterpreting what I was going for with the GOW thing. Yes he's a god of war, but more in the sense of a leader type GOW, not the warrior sense like other portrayals of a god of war. Besides, When I think "Hawaiian village chief" I think fat bellied Hawaiian dude telling the skinnier or skinny warrior dudes what to do. yeah he's kinda fat, and not muscular in the torso or arms. I didn't want brutish and muscular, that would have been too obvious and typical. I wanted a chunky totem pole with arms and legs. This brings me to my next point, the arms.

His arms were meant to be as low profile as possible without being too skinny and just a frame. I didn't want them to stick out much past his torso. This is why I chose the toa Mata/slizer hand type socket piece. That'd put a socket part on that'd let me build the rest of the arm downward without sticking out much. This was a conscious decision.

I thought the legs could use a little more to. I'm not totally in disagreement with you there. Though I think with the thicker upper legs, they kinda resemble someone's shins sticking out a pair of baggy shorts, which again kinda fits to that Hawaiian "not so much a warrior as much as a leader" type feel. I think if anything they just need a little armor on the front to break up the Piraka shin plainness. The glatorian shin gaurds in red might have worked, but I don't have any. :/

I don't know how heavy as a person you are, but look at your hand...is it all that "fat," or not skinny? I don't know about you, but my hands are kind of long and thin. You're kinda misunderstanding his power and strength. Yes He's a god of war but he uses his power and influence differently. He's more the kind of GOW that starts a war through manipulation rather than lead an army into battle. What I'm trying to say is hes not your typical GOW. He's not quite sow Brawny.

Yeah, he kinda does just chill out eat food, influence some war and just kinda chilaxes. His life is more like one big ass constant Luau with some politics thrown in there, and occasionally he'll go stomp on some village that pissed him off. If you're trying to compare him to a GOW like Aries or Mars then that's just not the vibe I was going for. Think more like a warrior that became chief and now sits around more than fights. That's in the ball park with Kutumah.

The back is another area I was kinda iffy about. Again i didn't want a bunch of bulky parts sticking out, and so this is what worked to retain the shape. Its not completely without armor, but you're right, it is more on the bare side. Hawaiians weren't big on armor anyways. They usually fought in loin cloths. So again I think concept comes into play. he doesn't have back armor because armor isn't a big thing in this culture.

Thank you for the critique. I'll keep the relevant bits like the hands and the lower legs in mind. :)
Now that I pointed these things out, do you see more of why I said I was very satisfied with this MOC?
Reply
:iconvedkarrtheunbroken:
Vedkarrtheunbroken Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
wait, why does he have a club if he mainly uses influence?
Reply
:icon3rdeye88:
3rdeye88 Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Cause he'll still stomp on some shit when he feels like it.
Reply
:iconvedkarrtheunbroken:
Vedkarrtheunbroken Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
he will defend his jumbo bag of cheetos at all costs
Reply
:icon3rdeye88:
3rdeye88 Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
:lol: Exactly.
Reply
:iconvedkarrtheunbroken:
Vedkarrtheunbroken Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
If the shoulder/arms were bulked up enough, he wouldnt have to modify the midsection very much. I agree, the hands are too skinny...
Reply
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